guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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