was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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