Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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