If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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