he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
