so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
