In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize