Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
