Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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