dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
