I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
