a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
