yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize