Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
