I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He did a backflip because drugs
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
