Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
