But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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