i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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