So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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