Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
