I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He shit in the fireplace
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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