Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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