your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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