just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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