Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
