like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
