Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
