We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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