We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
