you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
