I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
