just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
