Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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