dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
