I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
