good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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