i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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