At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
