Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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