the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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