Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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