she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
