Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
