Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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