He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
