I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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