we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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