Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
