Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
