at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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