There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
now i know why i became what i already was.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize