So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
