i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
