No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
