Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize