Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
